Thursday, April 14, 2005

FROM THE NATIONAL SECURITY DESK

1. In the latest offensive in its ongoing battle to protect the nation's air travelers, the Transportation Security Administration will now enforce its ban on all cigarette lighters, including previously allowed plastic cigarette lighters, from airplanes.
The federal government began tightening airline security after terrorists hijacked planes with box cutters on Sept. 11, 2001. A few months later the so-called shoe bomber, Richard Reed, tried to ignite explosives in his shoe on a flight from Paris to Miami. He used matches.

The lighter ban does not stop smokers from carrying up to four books of matches on a plane. (Bay City Times)
2. On Wednesday, a dead man was found inside the bathroom of an airplane Wednesday at O'Hare International Airport. The Tribune reports that the flight from Tokyo landed in Chicago at 4 p.m., but that the man was not found -- by a cleaning crew -- until 5 p.m. He was scheduled to fly on to Indianapolis.

Let's be clear on what this means:

  • A man flying alone from Asia did not return to his seat before the airplane begins its decent and no one noticed.
  • The same lone international traveler failed to board his connecting flight and no red indicators lit-up on the TSA computers.
  • And no one checked to see if anyone may have left a "surprise" in the jet's washroom until over an hour after the plane was on the ground at "The Worlds Busiest Airport".

But don't worry frequent flyers. The TSA is making certain that -- from now on -- any dead man found on the toilet after an international flight will definitely not have a cigarette lighter in his pockets.

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