Ode on a Grecian/Zorn

I'm not sure if Eric Zorn blogged about it as a joke or not, but there was a movement to have Modern Pankration at the Athens Games. Modern Pankration is a combat-sport very much like the mixed-martial arts (MMA) featured in the Ultimate Fighting Championship and the like.

Although the word "pankration" can be loosely translated to "all strength" or "all moves" and MMA is often called "no-holds barred fighting" the following are prohibited by the rules of pankration:

1. Strikes directed at: a) Joints (within 3 inches distal and proximal), b) Throat or Neck, c) Spine (cervical, thoracic and lumbar vertebrae, sacrum and coccyx), d) Groin and Inner Thighs
2. Biting
3. Eye-gouging
4. Fish-hooking
5. Clawing, scratching, pinching or grabbing of the skin
6. Grabbing the openings or straps of the headgear or trunks
7. Grabbing of hair
8. Grabbing fewer than three (3) fingers or toes
9. Any throw which locks the knees or is designed to, or which results in, an athlete being thrown onto their head or neck
10. Any technique which severely compresses or hyper-extends the spine
11. Grappling heel hooks
12. Dynamic application of joint locks or chokes which deny an athletethe opportunity to submit before injury occurs
13. Avoiding engagement
14. Failure to defend
15. Feigning injury
16. Unsportsmanlike Conduct, including use of profanity, excessive "celebration", taunting or any behavior deemed unsportsmanlike by tournament officials.

In a further concession to modernity, the fighters no longer compete in the nude.