so-called "Answer Man": Free Advice That's Worth Every Penny

Dear SCAM,

Now that St. Patrick's Day has passed, I need a new excuse for being falling down drunk by a quarter-after-three in the afternoon.

Do you have any suggestions?

-- Daddy Can't Wait for Sundown

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Dear "Daddy Can't Wait",

Personally, I feel that mid-afternoon intoxication never needs an excuse -- but if you wanna be a Puritan about it, may I suggest:

The Waco Brothers
at Schubas Tavern
Saturday, March 29, 2008
3:00 PM All Ages $14.00

An all ages show means you don't even need to find a sitter.

And the 3 pm start time means that even a kid with a learner's permit can be the designated driver.

-- SCAM