Friday, October 21, 2005

The Wheels of Justice Grind Slowly...

Mark Evanier has a question:
Where are these indictments I keep hearing about?

Okay, there's Tom DeLay. Good start but it's only one and knowing him, he'll probably slip out of that charge... make some kind of plea bargain that admits no wrongdoing in exchange for which he'll do five minutes of community service -- the first and last of his life. (I don't think he'll be so lucky in the Jack Abramoff matter...)

But people keep saying there are going to be indictments. Massive indictments. Shocking indictments. Indictments that are going to shake Washington to its core.

Okay, where the hell are they?

Every morning now when I awake, I hurry to my computer here and log into one of my favorite newssites to see the indictments...and there aren't any. This morning, everyone was talking about another hurricane and I thought, "No... we don't want another hurricane. We want indictments."

Of anyone. I'm not fussy. It would be nice if it were Karl Rove or Scooter Libby...although I have a hard time believing that any special prosecutor is cold-hearted enough to indict a guy named after a Muppet. But I'll settle for an indictment of just about anyone not in my immediate family. Geraldo Rivera would be nice. Or Carrot Top. How about a nice, juicy indictment of everyone currently producing a reality show? And while you're at it, that rude checker at the Whole Foods Market near me. And Bill O'Reilly, just because.

Come on... there are plenty of people out there to indict. Let's get on with it.

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